Referral Reflections

So, it's been a whole work week since I got the referral of my little girl. I can't believe I actually made it through the work week and actually got SOME work done (sorry PTR....maybe next week will be more productive). :) I have so many thoughts and feelings running through my mind and body that it's difficult to sort them all out. Here are the main things I'm feeling
AMAZED
Gracious
Humbled
Honored
Scared
Terrified
In LOVE
Weepy
Anxious
Impatient
Smitten
Unworthy
Ill Prepared
In LOVE (oh, I said that one already)
Longing
Fullfilled
Blessed
Lucky
In LOVE (oh, there it is again, hmmmmm)

This little girl is so amazing to me. And I hardly know her. I look at her picture (about 10,000 times a day...err, make that a minute) and I can't help but smile. I know every new adoptive parent must look at their referral pictures and think "I got the cutest one of them all". Well, I'm no different. To me, she is GORGEOUS and absolutely PERFECT. I remember calling my agency director right after the referral and he asked how I was doing. I said "GREAT, because I'm staring at the picture of the most perfect child". He immediately said, in kind of a worried tone, "well, didn't you look at her medical history"? In which I immediately replied "yep, I saw it". So, you know about her extra finger? he asked. "Yep, I know. She's absolutely perfect". Yes, she has an extra finger, and yes, I immediately accepted the referral. We can deal with her extra digit when we get home. To me, it was a non issue (even though I am aware that it may require surgery at a later date). My gosh, I just can't explain how amazing it is to look at her picture. Each and every time I even glance at it, my heart skips a beat. It never gets old and I never tire of seeing her beautiful face. It will be tough waiting 3+ months to go get her, but in the long run, 3 months is nothing (unfortunately it doesn't feel like that right now).

I must give a HUGE shout out to my bosses. They have been great this week with dealing with me and my scattered mind. In fact, the morning of the referral, we were getting set up to have a huge company bbq. One of the managers was bbqing the steaks and one was bbqing the corn, and I was in charge of getting the rest set up......putting the beans in the crock pot, cutting up the watermelon, getting the soda in the cooler, etc. And then it was my job to keep an eye on it during the bbq. Well, after I set it all up, and went and checked my e-mail, they basically never saw me again. They actually had to call me on the phone (mind you they are just right outside) to tell me to come and check on the beans. So, I run out there check the beans, apologize for ditching them and then showed them the pictures of my wee one....the reason for my disappearance. They of course were happy for me, but the funniest part is when the manager says to me "so, you're pretty much going to be useless rest the day, huh?". Yep, is all I said and ran back to my desk to start some more e-mailing. They, the sweethearts that they are, finished the bbq by themselves and cleaned everything up (which was my job also), without giving me too much of a hard time. I also didn't show up for the 2nd shift (I never show up for the 3rd shift) bbq, and the next morning they gave me a hard time about that (jokingly of course). It really was sweet of them to be so understanding.

So, now I sit and wait for the court date, and stare at this lovely little girl. Man how I love her already.