Sunday, September 28, 2008

72-Hour Eviction Notice

Well, after battling a non-cooperative tenant for the last three years, I finally served her with a 72-Hour eviction notice. She's been my tenant for 35 years. The first 11 years, I never knew she was even there. Then for the next 21 years, I was only reminded of her presence monthly. Nothing major. Just a little pain, or a few little cramps to let me know she was there and doing her job. Then, three years ago, she started to become quite pesky. She was a rude tenant, making quite a ruckess whenever she darn well felt like it. She certainly wasn't successful at her most important job duty, and when she wasn't happy, she made it known. Now, don't think I haven't tried to make her happy. Twice I had a contractor go in there to get some remodeling done, and twice, she ignored the remodel and in fact, started to redo what the contractor had done. So, on Wednesday, October 1st, my very fabulous contractor will go in one final time (hopefully) and pretty much kick her out for me. Now, some people have asked me if I'm ready for such drastic measures? I mean, I won't be able to rent that space out to ANYONE EVER AGAIN.....and defintely no 9 month sublets. But alas, she wasn't doing her job, and beyond that, she was causing all sorts of medical problems for me, so yes, I'm more than ready for such drastic measures. I mourned the loss of my 9 month sublets long ago and I'm ok with never having the little renters in there. I have a beautiful daughter waiting for me in Ethiopia, and that is all I need.

So, I will be out of work for 2-3 weeks (like I said, I have a fabulous contractor, who can do these types of evictions without tearing out the siding), while recovering from the demise of said tenant. I'm all prepared with food, movies, books, puzzles, etc to keep me occupied. However, the one project I will be looking forward to the most is creating my christmas presents. They will be handmade by me this year, and here is an example of some of the things I will be making.

For the women on my list:


Some beautiful Heart earings

For the men:

A Super Cool Blow Gun

Let's not forget the kiddos....here are some fabulous Tampon Sky Rockets.....


For the infirm....
Some super cozy slippers

and for the musically inclined.....
A fabulous pan flute.

Hey, gotta use up this surplus of "products" somehow.

13 comments:

Leah said...

OMG I am on my period and I LOVE ALL OF THESE...cant pick a fav, bec I love them all as I have some major cramps today! xoxo

Rebecca and Andrew said...

This is so hilarious! A great sense of humor for such an uncooperative tenant!
You'll be in my thoughts and prayers while you recover. Keep me posted!!!
'bec

Joy said...

Oh my gosh - you totally confused me until the end. I was laughing outloud. At first I was like "No way, don't tell me she is going to give those hideous earings to people" (I couldn't even tell what they were). As I scrolled down I "got it". I guess it is time to celebrate kidking your tenant out :).

Tania said...

Well, I guess I will be taking you off my Christmas list Joy. Too bad....you would have been the envy of all your friends with those gorgeous earrings. hahahahahaha. :)

Merry Melody's said...

I'm going to have to pass on Christmas presents this year. The rrr economy is bad. :) Let us know if we can be of assistance.

elisa said...

I LOVE your humor! Good luck girl!

Mona said...

Too, too funny! I went through the same eviction process almost a year ago to the day! She'll leave kicking and screaming and you'll be a little sore for a week or so; but in the end you'll feel much better. Good luck and get lots of rest.

Amber said...

You have the best way of telling stoires. Good luck with the surgery.

Rebecca and Andrew said...

Just waiting patiently to hear how you are feeling! Sending you wonderful wishes and prayers this week!
'bec

Jesi Q said...

Hope the eviction goes well and you're back to obsessing over the impending Ethiopia trip soon! Good luck!

Joy said...

Are you doing ok? I keep checking your blog and the group to see an update. I hope you are feeling better each day. Take care.

Erin Sager said...

Soooooooooo funny!!!

Tami said...

I got it immediately! You go! Been there, done that! I'll take a gift...wish I had thought of that with mine! LOL Recover well!